Roller coaster of love

27 December 2010
Our first anniversary...
Everything seems perfect.. he gave flowers and I gave him a wallet..
i was so in love.. we went dinner and in the end he allowed me to buy new BB.

28 December 2010
i feel not well since I cant sleep last night. But he is very patient and cheer me up

29 December 2010
Chatting seperti biasa di kala siang hari, namun ketika sampai malam hari; belum ada tanda-tanda dia akan/sudah ngomong dengan orang tuanya. Setiap kali bertanya, hanya dijawab sabar. Sampai akhirnya dia mengakui kalau dia tidak yakin 100% untuk merit dan membutuhkan waktu sampai akhir tahun (padahal sudah diberi waktu sebulan lebih), tanpa menjelaskan alasannya.

Dan sekarang gw yg lagi kebingungan dan sedih ini, dianggap jadi melodrama sama dia :(

It's not Christmas without you

Now its Christmas and you’re so far away
On this Christmas I just wish you had stayed
And I wonder if you’re thinking of me today
I don’t know what I’ll do its not Christmas without you

I hear carols in the distance
Don’t want to listen because every sound says your not here
Just in case you change your mind I’ll leave a light over the door
And hope you suddenly appear

It's not Christmas without you

Will you?

Finally,
he "propose" me or asking me about the possibility marriage in 2012 3 weeks ago.
Actually, I want in 2011 but after thinking about our economy and wedding preparation, I agree in February 2012 :)

 he hasn't talk with my family or his family but in several times, he started to confess me that we ACTUALLY gonna marry in 2012.

i started to browsing the bridal, made guest invitation list, the theme of the wed party and my friends are so excited :) I know I cant wait long enough especially when I saw this video



sometimes I wish that Hansen will propose in romantic way (which I know its not gonna be happen).

and when someone in the past start to knocking on the door again,
why I'm so happy :(

I wish i can have chance to meet him before i get marry and prove my feeling that I don't have heart again with him