I miss you

Gimme a reason
Why I'm feeling so blue
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you
Gimme a reason
Why I can't feel my heart
Everytime you leave my side, I just fall apart

And when you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go
Can you tell me, I wanna know

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on

Gimme a reason
Why I can't concentrate
The world is turning upside down
Spinning round and round
Gimme a reason
Why I now understand
The beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me

You got a way of spreading magic everywhere
Anywhere I go, I know you're always there
It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room
There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too

t's such a hard life in most of the time
I'm just surviving
That's why I want you to know
In the world where sincerity has lost its meaning
You fill my world with so much hope

You know I miss you
And this all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all

You know I miss you
And this is all I wanna do
I know it doesn't sound too cool
But maybe I'm in love with you
I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby
And when you're walking out that door
I know I miss you
You make me wanna ask for more
I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby

kecewa

Sedikit waktu yang kau miliki
Luangkanlah untukku
Harap secepatnya datangi aku
S'kali ini ku mohon padamu
Ada yang ingin ku sampaikan
Sempatkanlah...
Hampa kesal dan amarah
S'luruhnya ada dibenakku
Tandai seketika
Hati yang tak terbalas
Oleh cintamu...
Kuingin marah, melampiaskan tapi kuhanyalah sendiri disini
Ingin kutunjukkan pada siapa saja yang ada
Bahwa hatiku kecewa...

mission failed

gue udah berjanji ga akan menghubungi di semenjak tanggal 2 juni dan akan berusaha menghilang.
huh gak taunya gue tidak bisa menepati.
barusan nyapa dia di YM, dan iseng2 minta traktiran.
eh ga taunya di approve dan semoga hari minggu ini ketemu.
asyikkk...
setidaknya ada buahnya juga deh
padahal sebelumnya gue uda hopeless kalo dia bakal BT dan menjauh dari gue :)

Quick update: Farewell (part 1)

Nothing hurts like losing
When you know it's really gone
Except for the pain of choosing
To hold too long
For us it's too late
And the story's getting old
So I guess the driveway
Will be the end of the road
Let the credits start to roll
I thought maybe we were getting somewhere
But we're still nowhere at all
I watched your tail lights fading
I try but it still won't fall
I remember what it feels like
To know love and have it taken away
I can't think of what I learned right now
But I'll be thanking you someday

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

This is the final goodbye because you want me to say it to you

di selasa siang...

di selasa siang...
Giraffe OL dan gue nanya pertanyaan soal status dia di FB tentang tired of waiting someone...dan dia menjawab kalo nungguin gue :D
hmmm...senangnya seandainya itu benar yah heehehe...walo ga mungkin deh kenyataannya...secara dia tidak pernah menunjukkan tanda-tanda suka selain ngajakin hang out doang tiap minggu. tapi ga pernah ada kontak seperti sms ato telpon; mesti gue dulu yang mencoba terlebih dahulu. tidak pernah nyapa gue di YM or FB...
jadi gue sih pasrah aja deh..
di selasa siang...
lagi iseng2 cek email di skul dan nemuin comment status dari polar bear soal status gue yang standing alone in the rain... dan dia cuma berkomentar "mau dijemput?"
hmm..lebay banget deh..secara dia kan kuliah jam segitu... gue sudah tidak gampang tertipu seperti dulu!!!!!!!!!!
di selasa siang,
SD ada PTC dan ternyata si skinny cat ada di TK. dan gue ngeliat dia walau dia tidak liat gue. dan gue langsung ga konsen dan ga bisa berhenti untuk tidak menatap dia. gue sebal karena dia tetap terliat mempesona dan gue acap kadul. gue sebel karena dia terlihat percaya diri dan tidak merasa kehilangan sementara gue dalam hati menginginkan dia dan berharap keputusan itu dapat berubah. Yang terlebih lagi adalah, cewek itu ada di samping dia. cewek yang memberi kesesakan dalam hubungan kita dulu, ternyata dia yang kemudian mengambil posisi gue...
gue sudah tidak pernah merindukan atau memikirkan dia, tapi melihatnya selalu membuat gue sakit dan sepertinya dalam hati gue, dia masih yg terutama huhuhu
di selasa siang,
ternyata kata duma, mr.ndut itu online dan bahkan mereka sempat chatting gitu.huhuhu...kok ndut malah menjauh sih dari gue, di saat gue kangen banget ama dia huhuhu
 ndut tetap temen gue paling baik huhuu

If I was your woman

Dedicated to Giraffe who always keeps me love him more even though he didn't realize it.

If I was your woman

And you were my man

You’d have no other woman

You’d be weak as a lamb.

If you had the strength.

To walk out my door.

My love would over rule my sins.

And I’d call you back for more.

If I was your woman

And you were my man

She tears you down Darling

Says you're nothing at all

But I'll pick you up Darling

When she lets you fall

Cause, You're like a diamond

And she treats you like glass

Yet you begged her to love you

For me you don't ask

Life is so crazy

And love is unkind

Because she was first darling

Will she hang on your mind?

You’re part of me

But you don’t even know it

I’m what you need

But I’m too afraid to show it

If I was your woman

Here’s what I’d do

I’d never, never, NEVER stop lovin you.

(he cancelled our date for today hiks..)

I've lost you

Today Ive Lost You - Take That

Back for good - Take That

I know
I was so stupid to refuse ur offer
I was waiting that chance for so long, since we met for the first time
and now I ruined it.
Is it too late to apologize
From talking to fighting, admitting, denying
To finally saying goodbye

Now I regret every word that was spoken
I said some things you know I didn’t mean
Maybe we’ll turn back the time
Work it out, start anew
Or maybe today I’ve lost you

I can’t help but think of our last conversation
I close my eyes I can still see your face
I hope what I’m feeling now
You are feeling it too
Or maybe today I’ve lost you

Being single’s so bad at twenty-six
Looking for signs, asking strangers directions
When the answer’s right in front of me

Strange how a day it can feel like a lifetime
I know what I had now it’s gone
Ive swallowed my pride cos alone here, I’m dying
And with you is where I belong

maybe today, I’ve lost you..

I'm really sorry
I'm asking for the third chance from you
Would you give me that chance???

The boys

akhirnya tanggal 14 maret sudah berakhir juga...
dan banyak hal terjadi di tanggal itu
dan semua menyangkut ke-4 cowok yang mengisi hatiku beberapa minggu ini
(maruk...lol)

1. skinny cat
ga nyangka ketemu dia di SS kemaren. ga nyangka dia datang tahun ini, setelah tahun lalu dia menolak untuk datang padahal gue ajakin. dia datang sendiri dan ketika snack time, mata kami bertemu 2 kali; tapi ga ada respon apa2 dari dia atau gue. gue hanya berbalik menjauhi.salah gue sih makanya dia jadi dingin gitu dan gue ga berhak untuk marah2.

2. giraffe
makin melihat berbagai sisi dia.  apalagi om ndut bener2 naro gue di bagian dia hahaha...tapi apakah karena itu makanya dia selalu berdiri ga jauh dari gue sepanjang seminar (karena gue melayani di bagian dia), tapi yang gue sebelnya dia hanya berdiri (kadang bahkan menutupi gue) dan terkadang berbalik melihat ke meja gue ataupun menyampiri meja gue. kita hanya berbicara sedikit dan itupun masalah umum. walaupun kemudian gue gagal total duduk bareng dia karena ga dapat tempat duduk.

tapi seperti janji gue, setelah SS rasanya udah ga mungkin lagi gue bisa sms-an ama dia. udah ga ada yang bisa dibahas secara normal.dan lagi dia juga ga bakal sms gue juga. paling gue cuma bisa sms pas hari raya atau sebulan lagi pas dia ultah. jadi yah siap2 untuk melupakan juga deh...
btw, gue beli 2505 pink...jadi sama deh kaya punya-nya giraffe.

3. om ndut
wah ini yang paling berkesan bagi gue. gue udah sadar bahwa kalo di kenyataan, gue ga bisa seekspresif seperti di chatting. makanya gue pasang cool face aja.sama kaya dia. dan bener aja, dia hactic luar biasa. mana brewokan banget jadi bikin muka dia tambah serem dan siap menerkam siapa saja. dan dia selalu marah2 atau tegas banget. tapi entah kenapa gue tetap bisa melihat kelembutan dari dia. waktu gue protes ga dapat air minum, dia bawain sekardus botol walau sebelumnya sempet kesel, dan sempet2nya ngeledek gue yang abis makan hokben. orang lain sih ga bakal ngeh kalo itu ledekan, tapi bagi gue itu sweet hahahaa...
pingin banget perhatiin dia atau sms dia nih setelah SS, cuma gue tahu itu bisa mengganggu atau pun menghancurkan tembok yang kita bangun.
dan melihat dia pontang panting di SS, melihat dia melakukan kerjaan yang bukan tugas dia, membuat gue sangat terharu dan buntutnya malah makin sayang...
tapi gue denial kalo itu cuma kekaguman dan sayang sebagai brother aja.
but it makes me want to hug my teddy bear...

4. polar bear..
seperti biasa polar bear selalu nanyain gue lagi ngapain, dan gue bilang aja gue di sensi. eh kemudian dia malah mau ke sensi juga dan ngajak ketemuan dan makan. yang sebelnya itu udah kemaleman banget (bagi gue) dan gue juga uda cape luar biasa. jadinya yah gue tolak deh...

Tired

I'm so tired with you
with all this feeling
you gave me so much color on my days
but somehow, it seems now black
I believe the passion and curiosity between us is gone
You don't have the heart to me
and I'm so tired to prove that I care about you

You didnt reply my text anymore like used to be
and I.m so tired with all the rumors about you
I can felt that we don't have the chemistry like before
and I can see the fact objectively
I dont know if you still have the feeling with that girl
but I know, she will be a barrier b'tween us
so... I'm tired with this uncertain things
I'm tired to reach you
and I'm tired with your swing mood
I'm sure that we're not perfect for each other
I dont need to wait until 14th march to decide it
it's too long and it will break my heart more
I hope you'll find the perfect partner like u wish for
and so do I...

thanks to my beloved ndut,
untuk masukannya yang walaupun menyakitkan dan sempat membuat gue down selama beberapa hari tapi dia telah memberikan kenyataan.
Untuk sofi, lingke, dan duma juga yang telah membantu gue melihat dia secara lebih jelas :)

I.M.U

There are times in my life

When I feel so much love inside
Taking over my mind

Every day every night
I wonder when you come around
Wish I can hold you tight
In my arms forever
will you let me be the one in your heart

And I really miss you so bad
And I really miss you so
And I really miss you so bad
And I really miss you so

Baby, your sweet smile
You’re lovely person …
It takes my breath away

I miss u...